Spring Brings Disappear Man

A: "I can't find my machine so I can build a new one."

W: "Do owls have bones?"

W to A: "Blue (the star turtle) will protect you. Blue will call God."

A: "I'm scared of the dark as a doornail."

Last night, Asmund said to me, "I am behind you. I will give you a 'ssage. Don't look, it will hurt!"

Asmund: "What are we having, sweet Mama?"

A: "My shirt is sticky, gooey, slimey, and, of course, dirty."

A: "I like goats."
Mrs. E: "Give me another sentence."
A: "I super-like goats."

"I'm not worrying about the bugs. I'm angsting about the bugs!"

Dennis, laying with the hotel phone with Raedan, "Hello, hello, is this Grandma?" 

Asmund looks up from his Lego play, "Dad! You know your grandma is dead!" Dennis, fast on his feet, "I was trying to call heaven."
Wystan laughs, "Heaven is not a person, heaven is a robot!"

You try to play with your child, then, "Please stop talking to Spider-Man, he is a Lego." Oh, Wystan.

Wystan, "Mom, what Eskimos are?" 
"Eskimos are a people group who live in the arctic."
"Hum. So they are tigers?"

Naked Wystan: "I want to wear my real PJs. Do you know what they are? My body!"

"What is that bruise?" "It's a going-away ouchie."

"Let's watch another Thomas the train. They bring Raedan's spirits up. Actually, everybody has their own spirit."

I asked the boys, "Do you want to continue listening to the podcast?" Asmund said, "Yeah," and Wystan without missing a beat, "But we don't like it." 

Tonight's most bizarre bedtime question came from Wystan:
"Mom, do girls have bones?"
Asmund answered, "Wystan, everything has bones, except slime."
Good thing tomorrow is library day.

I love what Wystan just said to me: "I think you are still a kid." On good days, I feel it.

Wystan, at dinner, holding a butter knife, "Dad, I want to cut your neck."
Dennis, "Um, no."
Wystan, "Okay."
Kids are creepy.

Asmund uses monitors drawn with chalk to keep an eye on Dr Evazi, the bad guy.

"If I had a magic wand I would make magic stuff. Like pepperoni pizza."

"Shoo, fly, don't bother me. Shoo, fly, don't bother me. Shoo, fly, don't bother me. I have somebody else in me."

Asmund, "Mom, when will you have another baby? Can it be a girl baby? Maybe we can have three girl babies...when we have a girl baby, can we name her Skrillix?"

"If you go through the Valley of Spiders and avoid the traps, you can get coffee." Asmund used yarn to cover his room with yarn traps.

Dennis, 

after Asmund's umpteenth explanation on why he gets to pick a movie, "Huh, you seem to think this is a democracy. Can you say totalitarian dictatorship?"

I just overheard Asmund tell Dennis, "We need to have ten more babies in this family. Then we well always have a lot of friends!" All I can think of is that episode of HIMYM when Lily tells Marshall, "You're writing checks by vagina can't cash!"

From Carrie: I routinely ask the boys to pick one or two toys to donate or trash. This morning Asmund had a better idea, "Mom, how about we not get rid of anything. How about we buy something, then get rid of that."

Asmund, frustrated, yells from his bedroom, "WYSTAN come IN here! I love to have your company!!"

From the back of the van, Wystan says, "I just heard Disappear Man laugh. I didn't know he was here. He's a trickster all the time."

Having a brother who practices western martial arts has influenced my parenting. For example, "Raedan! You should never run at someone with a pole unless you're jousting!"

 

Asmund, eating his beans, "Mom, you are a betterist cook than anyone."

Asmund called the moon "blue cheese ball" for a year, but Wystan's current "buddleyou" (w) and Raedan's "hoffwees" (horsey) tie for first in my book.

"Bats see from their ears with lecho-ocation."

Love that my boys like tea parties. Raedan says, "Want more tea, Mama!" Meanwhile, the big boys skipped seconds in favour of working on the Dinosquad computers. They're trying to catch Dr something-I-can't-make-out, a mutant robber.