W:
"Hello? Is anybody on this planet?"
Me:
"Yes."
W: "I
was talking to myself!"
"If
you do not get a fish, go fish."
Mrs. E:
"You remembered." A: "It's the brain that remembered!"
A: "I
am a turtle, and I am free!"
W:
"Disappear Man lives on Mercury. He visits Earth when he wants to take
humans to Mercury to have dinner with him."
A to me:
"Do you want to see my invention? Well, Sally, it's on the rooftop!"
Wystanisms
of the day:
"I am
a human ladybug. I help ladybugs and I give people ladybugs for pets."
"I am
making a evil chicken trap. Evil chickens have lasers that shoot out of their
beaks."
"I am
an outer space scientist. We must make a metal spaceship and go to Pluto. We
will need a human to help us; we will get Bella and Bailee's mom."
The boys
are leaving a trail of carrots to lead the rabbit from the yard into our house.
A:
"It's the elephant of a prize!"
W:
"Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? Ding dong!"
W:
"Diarrhea is bad to eat."
W: upside
down on the chair: "Why are you upside down?"
Me:
"Why are you upside down?"
W:
"Because I don't have a body."
Me:
"Yes, you do. It's here."
W:
"No. This is Disappear Man's body. I took his human body away."
W: "I
need money and dollars for my wallet."
A: "I
am always awake. I am the smallest sleeper and the biggest waker!"
A,
"We are going under cover." (Going under MY covers.)
W,
refusing my explanation of skin tabs, "No, this is part of your brain,
coming out."
and R,
just happy, thankfully, having slept well.
April 20,
2015: Asmund, at six years old, made his first official pun just now! He was
helping me cut and saw a dead tree branch apart into smaller pieces, when he
said, "Please help me make sure things do not _stick_ out. Get it? _Stick_
out?" YAY! I am so proud of him.
May 4,
2015: Asmund's second pun, when I asked him to hurry with putting his books on
the bookshelf: "I'm trying to book it!"
Raedan
calls all men "daddy" right now. I just say, loudly, "Yes, babe,
that's a MAN." Also, a few weeks ago, on a very crowded sidewalk, Wystan
yelled to me, "NO I DON'T HAVE TO PEE! I'M GRABBING MY PENIS BECAUSE IT
HURTS BECAUSE I PINCH IT!" Judging from the muffled laughter I'm pretty
sure it made several people's night.
Almost as
bad as when he told Dennis, "you're not my dad!!" in a public
restroom, was wailing "Why don't you feed me!!!???!!!" in the Target
parking lot.
Disappear
Man helped Tony Stark and Shark Man roll the tires to the back gate because
Pepper was too busy nursing Rody.
A:
"Mom, the chicks are laying POOP!!!"
Me,
"Wow, Asmund, when did you get such strong, big boy legs?"
A,
"Well, I'm six and a half, but my heart is already seven, and my legs are
strong because of my heart." (Motioning to his arms) "See these great
strong muscles? These are from my brain, which is eight."
Me:
"Wow, don't these peonies smell good?"
W:
"Yes. They smell like superheroes."
Me:
"What do superheroes smell like?"
W:
"Like whomans. Superheroes ARE whomans." (humans)
A:
"But Wyse, some superheroes are aliens!"
W:
"Yeah, like Disappear Man, and Basilisk Man, and Me."
Yesterday,
while playing, Asmund good naturedly yelled, "Just move, woman!" to a
friend. I think it's safe to say that we're in that, picks up phrases without
understanding their appropriateness phase.
Asmund,
"Mom, I called Raedan nursing 'lipsticking' because he has his lips on
that stick thingy."
"Nipple?"
"Yeah,
that."
Toddler-think,
"Hum, THIS egg cracked when I threw it on the ground, I wonder if this
other one will. Or this one. Or this one. Hum, maybe I can get the dog to eat
it. Or maybe I should get down on the floor and eat it like the dog. Also, why
does mom think it's such a big deal for me to take my diaper off and pee on
Asmund?! That was fun!"
A: "I
like hot baths, but not too hot to put my heart on fire."
Asmund is
post-mod. In the middle of the Modernist paintings, he uses colored pencils to
draw-color the exit sign on the wall.
Wystan, at
bedtime, "Mom, you know, I love you still, even when I'm mad at you."
Just
caught Raedan in the bathroom, soaping and attempting to shave his head with my
razor.
The boys
were recently at the dentist. After W's appointment, he was shown a prize box
to choose a prize from. He asked, "Isn't there any candy?" He also
told the dentist he drinks lots of soda. A keeps wiggling his loose teeth. He's
excited about the tooth fairy coming. He said, "Maybe the tooth fairy will
leave candy, money, or an electric toothbrush! Or maybe all three!"
Asmund
wants to lose a tooth so the Tooth Fairy can come. She might leave a girl or a
boy.
Uncle Sam
created Spider-Robot who could repair himself after all of the Americans died
by fire. Now it is only Spider-Robot and his friends: a cyborg, a robot, and,
of course, an alien.
Asmund
lost his first tooth June 6, 2015.
Wystan just
peed in his water. At dinner. It was an "ihperiment".
The kids
painted this morning. Asmund spent much longer than he usually does, and when
he was done, explained the colors and shape in detail. After expressing my
admiration for his work, he nonchalantly said,
"Yes,
Mom. All the art I make is good."
When I was
six, I had an evil twin named Sally, who did everything bad that I got blamed
for. Fast forward 28 years, now Robot Asmund is terrorizing his brother. Evidently
he has a Robot side, a Pirate side, a Mean side and a Screech-bird side.
"Wystan,
do you want a hat?"
"No.
I just want to love you."
Asmund
sang "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of
rum", loudly, the entire time we were in Dillons. Wystan pipped up
occasionally with a chorus of "I love bunnies" The cashiers could
barely contain themselves.
Asmund
showed me a picture of Lego Ghost Rider, and explained, "Ghost Rider has
poems and is a man of God. Ghost Rider is a man of God because he kills bad guys
to send them to heaven so they know better."
confused_rev
emoticon
(We may
have had a little talk about what God really wants from us.)
