Tomatoes

 Aldwyn

"Tomatoes have a taste that attracts me"

Raedan Game

R has come up with a new game and it starts with one person and goes around with each letter of the alphabet. Eldric decided to do the word kataroo during the game. Carrie then told E that "kataroo" actually started with a c and wasn't a word. Then A pitched in saying that it was an actual word and the name of a species of rodent  found in New Zealand and that it did start with k. I then proceeded and looking it up and because I was entirely fooled by Asmund, he then warned me that there was a silent X in it and that I should know where it is becusdr I'm an English professor. I said, drats, I was tricked by Asmund.

Winners

 Eldric: I'm going to win!

Wystan: In my opinion I'm going to win.

E: In my opinion I'm winning!

Raedan: Do you even know what opinion means?

E: It means I'm winning!

[

Asmund at lunch: Mom, I want to make an everything cape! It's going to be waterproof, and fireproof, and lightningproof.

Mom: That's a strange thing for a cake.

A: No, mom, cape!

Mom: That explains better than a cake.

Later that day in the car.

A: You know mom, I want to make an everything cake.

Mom: Let me hear you pronounce cape.

A: No, no, cake! With strawberry and chocolate and . . . 

Mom laughs.

Chicken

 Eldric about the cooked chicken: The chicken looks dead. Do you know why it looks dead? Because the chicken looks brown.

Economy

Asmund: If you leave us alone we'll start our own economy.

Asmund: Can I drink coffee upstairs in my bedroom while I make weapons? 

Eldric: It's so boring to have not candy!

When Asmund blows on dandelion seeds, he says he wishes for more dandelions. He says he wishes that wish because it will probably come true.

Eldric, "I am eating this aminal."

Aldwyn, "No, amiwol. Aniwol."

The "animal" in question was a beet.

 

Raedan advice: Stop being like a dog owner and be a dog.

 

Asmund spent the morning writing a "War Oath" play contract, in order to facilitate "mindful chaos."

 

Asmund: Every culture has soup. You can't live in a culture without eating soup.

 

Raedan: Dad, can we have an eating contest?

 

Aldwyn's suggestion for this Halloween: We paint our house black, we dress up in our costumes, and we scare people.

 

Eldric: Want to hear a joke? Knock-a-knock, who's there? Banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, slip on the floor!

 

What Eldric is talking about at bedtime tonight:

A flower mouse, my snoring, how he's a lightning boy, and he can't hear my snoring in the other room because of magic tears, his stuffed animal octopussy, tentacles, suckers, sticking to things, octopus mouths, bananas slipping down the stairs, meteor caves, gecko shrinking, motorcycles, and jokes in between.

 

Eldric: Did you know I'm a thunder boy? I actually love to be shocked!

 

Asmund: Why are we talking about how Jesus died for our sins when he didn't do a very good job?

 

Aldwyn to Ruth: We have too much children in our house.

 

Aldwyn: I saw a ghost dog, for real!

Eldric: When did you see it?

Aldwyn: Five years ago.

(Of course, they just turned five.)

 

"Sneaky bouncy ball!" What Aldwyn said when he threw the ball down, it hit the ceiling then came back down and hit his head.

 

Rae: never break a pinky promise or you'll have bad luck from my fist

 

Asmund and Wystan's take aways from our constitution unit:

Wystan is glad we have free speech.

Asmund thinks Congress has too much power, and favors an anarchist utopian society of hunters and small scale agriculture.  

 

Raedan: You said we could go to Dollar Tree so we could buy sparkling lemonade. When I asked you, you said something and it was a word related to yes. It was yes, but it was not the word yes. So let's go!

 

Hello from the Etzel house, where Aldwyn is standing in his chair, waving a gnawed chicken thigh, yelling "I love bones GIVE ME BONES," while Asmund is describing broth to him as the superior method of ingestion, and calling it "bone water. "

 

  

 

 

 

   

 

Cheers

Carrie starts frying an egg

Aldwyn who declined an egg 5 mins ago: I want an egg... I want that egg... the egg you were about to eat.

[

Parenting is explaining to your five year old (Aldwyn), at 7 am, just why he shouldn't hide tomatoes under the bed. 

[

Raedan: You said we could go to Dollar Tree so we could buy sparkling lemonade. When I asked you, you said something and it was a word related to yes. It was yes, but it was not the word yes. So let's go!

[

Raedan, playing Super Mario Cart: Cheer for me. Cheer for all my body parts!

[

F

Eldric came home in this sweet dress:

"Dad, you know why I am wearing dis dress? It is for dancing when you marry. I am marry Thandie, dat is why I wear dis dress!"

 [

Funnies

 Asmund: Aldwyn, do you want to know something? 

Aldwyn: What?

Asmund: You're funny.

Aldwyn: No I'm not! I don't have a funny bone in my skin.

/

Me: Has anyone seen the eggs?

Asmund: Have you tried the egg carton?

/

Eldric to Aldwyn: do you remember when I scared you last night? It was so 'atastic (fantastic) for me!

/

Body

 Aldwyn:  I want to kill my body.

Eldric: I do not want to kill my body.

Aldwyn: Well then, I don't to listen to my body. 

Asmund: but what if but what if you need to go to the bathroom? Or you're hungry?

Eldric: I am ever hungry, but I am not hungry now.

Asmund: Well, if you don't have a body then what's the point of having dessert know you'll have no cake or ice cream or my delicious brownies

Eldric: ahh!

Aldwyn: okay, I won't kill my body. Wait, did my body say that?

Eldric: Yes!

Aldwyn: Dumb body! 

Notes from bedtime tonight

Eldric: I really really can't sleep. I only go to sleep on Christmas.

Eldric: I ate crackers but crackers don't last forever. That's why I only want to eat soft stuff. Ice cream is soft. Cake is soft too!

Eldric: Do you know what I see when I close my eyes?

Me: What do you see?

Eldric: I see nothing!

Raedan: When you were four you _weren't_ related to me.

Asmund: How old is dad? 50/50?

Nightmares

 Eldric,  "Mommy, I have nightmares that you and Aldwyn are running from a monster."  "Oh no, that sounds scary! Do you want to cuddle up with Aldwyn? Would that help you feel safe?"  "Yes! Maybe that will 'ahvince my body to have good dreams!" -Aldwyn and Eldric fall asleep in each other's arms.

Aldwyn: I'm allergic to gluten free!

Eldric: Do you know what I am getting for Christmas? It's a secret!

Lollipops

 Asmund, "Mom, can't we watch Keeping Up Appearances?"

"No, I'm enjoying listening to your brothers play." 

"I'm not. They're loud and noisy. All I want to hear are British accents and canned laughter. "

/

Eldric: Can I get getting married lollipops and give them to people like T?

Me: What are getting married lollipops?

Eldric: They are lollipops with red hearts and the sticks have to be yellow on them.

Me: Why do the sticks have to be yellow?

Eldric: Because it is a marry lollipop! It has sweet things in it, like sugar!

/

Eldric: "I'm rich! I have twenty-two dollars!" Holds up card with pictures of money, to help learn about counting.

/

2021 so far

 

Asmund was heckling Wystan as he tried to listen to his math instruction. Wystan pointed the remote at Asmund, "If only you had a mute button."

When I asked Aldwyn what came next in his story, he said, "let me see what my clock body says" then put a pencil on his belly, and turned it like clock hands.

 

Eldric: "I'm rich! I have twenty-two dollars!" while holding up a card with pictures of money meant to be a way to learn counting.

 

Eldric: When I am big I can name myself something else. Like Dennis Etzel Jr.

 

Eldric: Are you old? When you are old you have the creaks.

 

January 20, 2021

Another mild day, another hike. Asmund told me about expatriation of native animals. Wystan found interesting lichen. Raedan found four chairs off the trail, and declared that they were witches in disguise and shouldn't be touched. Aldwyn and Eldric ran the entire trail.

 

  

 

 

Caught Mouse

Boswell caught a mouse. Raedan said, "oh poor mouse. Mouses are part of nature. " Asmund said, "yeah, but a very bad part of nature in a house! "

Catch up

April 2017





May 2017




June 2017




July 2017




August 2017



September 2017



October 2017




November 2017

Catch up

Wystan is singing "Get out the way, old dan tucker", in falsetto.

Catchup Jan through Mar 2017

Dennis: "Raedan, please stop pounding on the floor."
Raedan: "It's stomping!"

I'm not sure what most tea parties entail, but ours involve a lot of shouting, spilling, and bragging about how many thimble sized cups of tea one drank.

To Carrie from Asmund: "Mom, I 'iscussed about the spy team hideout with Grandma, so you have nothing to fear. We're going to have three hideouts and use computers to locake and skype."

Cashier: What was your favorite present?
Wystan: Penguey's bed.
Asmund made it with Jenga blocks, popsicle sticks, and fabric. Wystan's answer was the best!

"MOM!!!! Asmund won't let me be a racoon!"

Asmund wants to make a video game about playing video games.

Raedan dropped a Lego into the vent and is worried: "Mouses are eating the Legos! Mouses think Legos are cheese!"

Raedan: "Dinosaurs are friends with people because I am friendly to dinosaurs."

"No, I will not put nails on your butt!"
He wants to be a bee. In case you were wondering what would compel a six year old to ask for nails attached to his pants.

Raedan is eating yogurt.
With his feet.

When your three year old begins singing "John Henry " at the top if his lungs and then you hear the loud strike of a hammer. Inside.

Raedan: My secret place is outside where it's cold and monsters are out there!

Raedan: Do you know what dehydrated (means)? You get a libble wit (little bit) of water and your teeth wiggle.

The twins are ten months old. They're crawling, cruising, hungry little sleep deprivers. Aldwyn babbles constantly and likes to give kisses. He's a leap before you look kind of kid, and is oh so dramatic. Eldric is working on mastering standing unassisted and very proud of himself on that count. He likes to assess a situation rather than rushing in, and is quite the mischief.

Asmund, "Aldwyn is much lighter if you hold him upside down."

Raedan is spinning around and screaming.
Dennis: Are you okay, Raedan?
Raedan: Yes, I'm pretending I'm the boss.

Raedan, "Mom, I want to go to a date with you. Not daddy or the babies or my brothers. Just you and me."
Me, "What will we do? "
"We will have lots of treats on my date."
"What will the treats be?"
"Green! Well, one lollipop and five treats. Mommy, I want to draw me and you. I want to have a tat-two with you and me. A mommy tat-two and a Raedan tat-two."

Raedan, holding up a carefully colored dinosaur, "Is this a beautiful dinosaur, Mom?"
"Oh, it is!"
Bats his doe eyes at me, "This dinosaur's name is Mom-Dinosaur."

In past forty-five minutes, Raedan has cried because:
1. He lost his bouncy balls.
2. The seaweed he asked to eat made his "beard" (chin) hot.
3. He got water on his pants.
4. After taking off his pants, he realized he wasn't wearing undies.
6. He was hungry and I wouldn't give him all of the cheese, which I was, at that moment, adding to supper.
7. He tried to eat an eggplant and it bit him.
8. He hurt his foot.
9. We're out of bandaids. (He just used them all on his feet and his tush.)

Asmund, "Mom, how do you disintegrate a word?"
Delete. He meant delete.

Asmund: I call this Spying on the Heart. It's a magnifying glass with a heart on it.

"Dad!!! There's a gargoyle in here!!!!"
Sorry, kid. You still gotta stay in bed.

Walking into the bathroom to find hair on the floor:
First kid: "Oh no! Your beautiful hair! "
Third kid: "Whatever, there's no blood. "

Wystan used his circuit kit to create a speed enhancing pulse. He's treated his muscles with the pulse and now he runs faster. Just thought you'll should know.

Yesterday, Asmund got three cookies instead of a cinnamon roll, today he got two. He looked at them, and said, "Mom, this does not reach those heights."

Raedan: My feet are having a fight.

"I'm an instanaut."

Asmund: I already had a long schedule planned out today and it gotted kapoosh!


The boys overheard us talking about a work situation:
Asmund, "So, Dad is protecting his students from a horrible demon and he'll win the world series. She's ahead of you but Daddy wins!"
Dennis, "No, Asmund, no one wins in this situation. "
Wystan, "Daddy, Asmund can make a trap for her. What is her favorite food? You can trick her. "
D, "No, I don't want to trick her. I want to find a peaceful solution. "
W, "Did she vote for Donald Trump?"
D, "...uh...that has nothing..."
A, "Well Dad, Wystan's right. She must have been hired by Donald Trump to get you out of orbit, cause he doesn't like poetry but still wants to be president."

Asmund: I don't like half-finished words just laying around.

Carrie: sniffing, "Who's stinky in here? "
Kid, "You, Mom!" *laughs, farts, laughs louder* "Just kidding. I'm stinky. You smell like strawberries and just a bit of smelly cheese, so that's pretty good. "

Bedtime talk
Carrie, "Wystan's getting freckles. "
Asmund, "I'm getting freckles too. Did you notice? They're on my butt."

Yesterday, Asmund overheard us talking about the state of the roads and bridges in Shawnee County, and the theft of Kansas road funds. He suggested (duh), "Why don't they just dig for gold!?!?"
And that's still more realistic than Brownback's plan.

Wystan's first music lesson was today. In a stunning display of second child, when asked if there was a song he especially wanted to learn, he said, "I would like to learn Ponyo, because, well, my brother hates that song."

Dennis is telling the boys about the 66 tornado:
Asmund, "Oh, that's when those coffee beans at Flying Monkey went up in the air?"

Asmund explained 8+9=17 this evening by telling us, "because 9+1=10 and 3+4=7." He does math like this frequently, and I'm always intrigued.

6:15am
Wystan "How many more minutes until 10:45?" (The time Aunt DeAnn is taking him out.)
Me: "Ah, four and a half hours." Calculating in head, "270 minutes."
Wystan: "Oh, I better go up and get dressed."

Raedan, "Lela is poopy!"
Wystan, "Don't call Lela poopy! You can call Ada poopy if you want, but you can't call Lela poopy!"
I'm not sure whether he's defending her honor or warning off a rival suitor. Poopy is a nebulous term at this age.

Boswell got out last night and left a dead bunny on our walk.
He's a thoughtful cat.
I just found Raedan heading out the door with a butter knife. "Mom, I want to cut the bunny. Do bunnies have bones?"

"It's a good daddy trap." Covered in blankets in hotel room.
"Yes, he will get *estremely* hot under there, then he'll wake up, and jump up, and trip because we tied his shoelaces together."

Asmund drawing his version of the Greek titans, one for each element. The cyclops is earth, fire makes lava which cools to rock, water turns to ice, and then there is a Kansas-based tornado.

Carrie: Raedan, I like watching you play.
Raedan: And I like watching you play!


Asmundisms
1. Listing monsters and what they're afraid of:
"...vampires are afraid of their ex wives...grandmas who have fighting skills are afraid of Japanese warriors..."
2. In his continued quest to categorize everything he comes across, yelling, from the other room:
"MOM I NEED YOU TO TELL ME THE TIME PERIODS AND HOW TO SPELL THEM."
Me, "Like for when the dinosaurs lived?"
"NO MOM, ALL OF THEM."


Asmund's assessment of their bedtime story:
"Huh, Mom, you are starting to sound like Aunt Joy will all that stuff about modern architecture and medieval moats." Best compliment ever.  

Raedan said, "I writed Mrs Elwood in my book, lots of Mrs Elwood".

Asmund just said, "I could do this all day!" regarding his math.

Rae sang a dinosaur rock song for me tonight. "This is a rock song about dinosaurs. They love to eat chocolate eggs and they love the crunchy shells. Then they eat TRex meat. They love windows (glass windows) then they eat people (do TRexes eat people?)

When Rae woke up upset, Wystan went to him and said, "Raedan, I will help you find your werewolf. Let's look together." My heart just about melted. 

Asmund's thoughts on Langston Hughes: "Oh, so that's why he wrote all those poems like jazz? Well, you can't change people's color but you can change people's minds."

"Mom, when were you married? " "I'm not telling you, because I know why you're asking" "Whaaat? I don't even know the password '

January 2017

Raedan says "libble wit" instead of "little bit."

Me: "Food before one is just for fun"
Twins: "Thanks for nursing us, now we'd like a snack. One egg each, please."

Babies aren't really talking yet, though Dennis and I both swear Aldwyn looked right at Dennis and said "hi" after he said "hi" to him.

1-6
Dennis: "Raedan, please stop pounding on the floor."
Raedan: "It's stomping!"

1-6
Boys got a tiny tea set from Aunt Sarah and Uncle Carl. I'm not sure what most tea parties entail, but ours involve a lot of shouting, spilling, and bragging about how many thimble sized cups of tea one drank.

1-7
After seeing Antboy 3:
Asmund: "I'm actually a superhero, you know."
Wystan: "When can I get a skateboard with a rocket and a secret headquarters? "
Raedan: "I want to be Antboy. He has a black helmet."

1-8
Dennis: "Where is Raedan (our three year old)?"
Asmund: "He's downstairs fixing himself an egg."

1-9
Asmund: "Mom, I 'iscussed about the spy team hideout with Grandma, so you have nothing to fear. We're going to have three hideouts and use computers to locake and skype."

December 2016

12-6 
Asmund, "We aren't sure if Santa Claus is real, but we know Saint Nicholas is! He gets help from parents though, because he's a ghost so he can't carry things."

12-6
Wystan and Penguee  

12-16
Asmund
"Mom, Dad said I can have a catapult if you say so."

12-18
Asmund protesting making Christmas presents:

12-20
"Raedan, are you moving the lights?"
"No, I'm just tickling them."

12-23
Wystan wants a live penguin for Christmas. He'll keep him in the freezer when it's hot out.

12-26
Asmund: "I'm so tired of Raedan!"
Dennis: "Please just learn how to work and play _with_ him. I'm never tired of you boys."
Asmund: "Actually, at nighttime you are."

12-26
Raedan is throwing a fit because his stuffed animals fell on the floor of the van.
"Don't worry, Raedan, they're playing!"
"DAD, they is NOT! They is not real. They have eyes. They does not talk."

12-26
Raedan, "Mom, I'm scared. Will you tell God?"
Me, "Ok...Dear God, please he-"
R, "No Mom!! I mean DAD!!"

12-29
From Joy

A, yelling: WYSTAN! WYSTAN!
Wystan, calmly standing up,
A: Hi brother
They walk off silently, arm in arm.

W, introducing me to a new stuffed animal: He is the son of penguey. His name is Peck, Max for short.

R: The white dots have faces, I will kick them in the faces. That is the idea. That is the idea, mom.

R: I have feet. Do you have feet, Aun Joy?

12-30

Asmund, while practicing guitar: we're going to heat up, mom.
Carrie: you mean warm up?
A: yes

A blur of a semester

Wystan, "I am getting to be like Daddy. After I ate, I burped really big, just like Daddy!"

When the threenager tries to protect his baby.


Raedan: "Daddy, you is a pillow and I is a slug!"


Raedan is heartbroken. He thought going to a Royals game meant playing with the Royals. "But I am a very bigger boy! I am a good pit-cher! I very promise I not run off!"

Strong defiance from a three year old: "NO! I have poop and my naked butt will shoot poop at you! "

Raedan stuck a bead up his nose. Painful, but not too hard to remedy. He "very promise" he won't do it again.

September 2016

This week Wystan said we needed another brother, I told him no, but he could have as many kids as he (and his spouse) want when he grows up. So he and Asmund decided that since they will each have at least ten children, they'll build a large house for all of us to live when they grow up and marry "womens". I'm in love with the fact that they want to live with us always. Not that I'm planning on it. But living within a block of all my siblings is still a legitimate life goal for me, and if my kids all lived close, I'd be pretty happy. By then they'll be past the running around naked and screaming. I hope.

Wystan, "What's fire made of?"

Asmund, "Mom, when I have a dream, is that dream real?"
Raedan, coming downstairs looking confused and guilty, "Mom, I hurt Wystan. My very bestest friend Wystan! "

Raedan is going to be a cowboy tonight. A cowboy is like a farmer. He will get stuck in cow poop with his horse and get lost. Then he'll miss me, and I'll come find him and get him down.
Sounds about right.
Last week he kept asking me to tell him stories that he knew, but I didn't. That was frustrating for both of us. I'm glad we're back to him telling me stories and me reading him books.

"Mom, it is Eldric's bedroom!"



Wystan takes liberties with the story.



"I love your drawing, Asmund! I should tell you though, they didn't have tanks during the Revolutionary War."







About Asmund: I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the child who called his grandma "when daddy small baby mama", and the moon "blue cheese ball", would call 75 "50 and 25".


October 2016

YOU GUYS! WYSTAN JUST SAT DOWN BESIDE ME AND READ AN ENTIRE LIBRARY BOOK, OUT LOUD, WITH HELP ON ONLY THREE WORDS. SQUEEEEE!!!
I know, I know, learning to read doesn't make one a prodigy, but it's still magical when you get to watch it happening.

Tonight at supper, Asmund asked,
"Mom, what president (candidate) wants to make war?"
I hemmed a bit, trying to explain it's not quite as simple as that, but affirmed "Yes, Trump believes in making war in unethical ways. "
Asmund, "Ok Mom, I am NEVER voting for Trump. We want to make peace!"
Raedan chimes in, "We will make peace, Mommy, with Daddy's SWORD!"

Raedan, "Mommy, I cannot clean up my room because I am a carnivore."

Ada, "I'm a ballerina! "
Raedan, "I'm a balleRAEDAN!"
Ada, "Lela's favorite tree is gone. "
Raedan, "I will find it for her. I'm am a very sneaky spy human. "

Asmund, "I want to learn different languages. Mostly French and Dragon."

1. Chews on sleeping brother's hair.
2. "The towel, I was chewing on the towel!"
3. ("Naw, I was totally chewing on his hair. ")

Penguiee changed quite a bit during his travels away from us. The boys are building him a castle, complete with murder hole. Who knew a penguin would have fierce enough enemies to need a murder hole?




Asmund, "When Daddy's not here, I'm the KING IN THE HOUSE. "

"Alexander Camelton. My name is Alexander Camelton."

Wystan, after reading a book, "Huh, this is challenging. "
Me, "Sounds like your brain is growing. Are you ready to stop? "
W, "No, I want to read another one. "



November 2016




"You FUZZY BUTT ANIMALS! SHUT UP!"
Raedan, last night, to his brothers.

 Asmund, "Mom, is this city [St Louis] all about God?"




When Dennis carried Raedan upstairs to bed this evening, he woke up just enough to start laughing with the joy of being home. 

Boswell the Snuggle Cat. Kids see him sleeping and say, "He's a great killing machine, so he needs his rest. "

Yesterday I started reading Beowulf to Asmund. Today when Grandma came over, he brought her the book, opened to a picture, saying, "Look! It's the Foe of God!"
I think it's safe to say it's captured his imagination.

Just caught Raedan trying to wrap a corn tortilla around a half a pound of butter.

Dennis, "Raedan, you're my friend. "
R "No. I'm Wystan's friend. "
D "Will you be my friend? "
R "Yeah. For a minute."

(Singing) "ooo bring Him silver and gold"
Asmund, "AND PLATINUM!"

"Mom, why does Grendel look like a teenager?"



Raedan, "I have a penis, so I'm FANCY! "

Raedan: "Can I run to the store with you? I like running."