A blur of a semester

Wystan, "I am getting to be like Daddy. After I ate, I burped really big, just like Daddy!"

When the threenager tries to protect his baby.


Raedan: "Daddy, you is a pillow and I is a slug!"


Raedan is heartbroken. He thought going to a Royals game meant playing with the Royals. "But I am a very bigger boy! I am a good pit-cher! I very promise I not run off!"

Strong defiance from a three year old: "NO! I have poop and my naked butt will shoot poop at you! "

Raedan stuck a bead up his nose. Painful, but not too hard to remedy. He "very promise" he won't do it again.

September 2016

This week Wystan said we needed another brother, I told him no, but he could have as many kids as he (and his spouse) want when he grows up. So he and Asmund decided that since they will each have at least ten children, they'll build a large house for all of us to live when they grow up and marry "womens". I'm in love with the fact that they want to live with us always. Not that I'm planning on it. But living within a block of all my siblings is still a legitimate life goal for me, and if my kids all lived close, I'd be pretty happy. By then they'll be past the running around naked and screaming. I hope.

Wystan, "What's fire made of?"

Asmund, "Mom, when I have a dream, is that dream real?"
Raedan, coming downstairs looking confused and guilty, "Mom, I hurt Wystan. My very bestest friend Wystan! "

Raedan is going to be a cowboy tonight. A cowboy is like a farmer. He will get stuck in cow poop with his horse and get lost. Then he'll miss me, and I'll come find him and get him down.
Sounds about right.
Last week he kept asking me to tell him stories that he knew, but I didn't. That was frustrating for both of us. I'm glad we're back to him telling me stories and me reading him books.

"Mom, it is Eldric's bedroom!"



Wystan takes liberties with the story.



"I love your drawing, Asmund! I should tell you though, they didn't have tanks during the Revolutionary War."







About Asmund: I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the child who called his grandma "when daddy small baby mama", and the moon "blue cheese ball", would call 75 "50 and 25".


October 2016

YOU GUYS! WYSTAN JUST SAT DOWN BESIDE ME AND READ AN ENTIRE LIBRARY BOOK, OUT LOUD, WITH HELP ON ONLY THREE WORDS. SQUEEEEE!!!
I know, I know, learning to read doesn't make one a prodigy, but it's still magical when you get to watch it happening.

Tonight at supper, Asmund asked,
"Mom, what president (candidate) wants to make war?"
I hemmed a bit, trying to explain it's not quite as simple as that, but affirmed "Yes, Trump believes in making war in unethical ways. "
Asmund, "Ok Mom, I am NEVER voting for Trump. We want to make peace!"
Raedan chimes in, "We will make peace, Mommy, with Daddy's SWORD!"

Raedan, "Mommy, I cannot clean up my room because I am a carnivore."

Ada, "I'm a ballerina! "
Raedan, "I'm a balleRAEDAN!"
Ada, "Lela's favorite tree is gone. "
Raedan, "I will find it for her. I'm am a very sneaky spy human. "

Asmund, "I want to learn different languages. Mostly French and Dragon."

1. Chews on sleeping brother's hair.
2. "The towel, I was chewing on the towel!"
3. ("Naw, I was totally chewing on his hair. ")

Penguiee changed quite a bit during his travels away from us. The boys are building him a castle, complete with murder hole. Who knew a penguin would have fierce enough enemies to need a murder hole?




Asmund, "When Daddy's not here, I'm the KING IN THE HOUSE. "

"Alexander Camelton. My name is Alexander Camelton."

Wystan, after reading a book, "Huh, this is challenging. "
Me, "Sounds like your brain is growing. Are you ready to stop? "
W, "No, I want to read another one. "



November 2016




"You FUZZY BUTT ANIMALS! SHUT UP!"
Raedan, last night, to his brothers.

 Asmund, "Mom, is this city [St Louis] all about God?"




When Dennis carried Raedan upstairs to bed this evening, he woke up just enough to start laughing with the joy of being home. 

Boswell the Snuggle Cat. Kids see him sleeping and say, "He's a great killing machine, so he needs his rest. "

Yesterday I started reading Beowulf to Asmund. Today when Grandma came over, he brought her the book, opened to a picture, saying, "Look! It's the Foe of God!"
I think it's safe to say it's captured his imagination.

Just caught Raedan trying to wrap a corn tortilla around a half a pound of butter.

Dennis, "Raedan, you're my friend. "
R "No. I'm Wystan's friend. "
D "Will you be my friend? "
R "Yeah. For a minute."

(Singing) "ooo bring Him silver and gold"
Asmund, "AND PLATINUM!"

"Mom, why does Grendel look like a teenager?"



Raedan, "I have a penis, so I'm FANCY! "

Raedan: "Can I run to the store with you? I like running."


 

In Godland

Asmund: "Remember when you were pretending to call your Grandma who is in Godland?"

Raedan (singing): "A B C D E F G, how I wonder what you are."

Summer 2016

Asmund just showed me his new laser. He tapped a magnifying glass to a small solar panel taken from a robot kit, then tapped a battery behind it and a flashlight to to the handle to store power. He figured that the magnifying glass would concentrate the sun's rays into the solar panel, and amplify onto a lazer.
Honestly, I'm glad we're still at the non-working inventions phase.

I know that in his mind, that screaming fit made sense--"oh no! Mom got off the bed AT THE END instead of the side! AND she's holding BOTH water cups! I must warn her that she is about to be eaten by the "end of the bed, two water cup"monster!!"
Toddlers only make sense if you assume that the rules to their world are radically different than those of reality.

July 23: Eldric and Aldwyn: These two are three months old today! They can roll over, grab toys, as well as each other's hands. They sleep better than A and R ever did, and are in mostly six month clothes!

Dinner shenanigans:
Raedan buttered his entire torso, then rubbed his corn on his chest before eating it.
Wystan supposed that if hamburgers were HANDburgers, they would be made by chopping hands off dead humans and frying them up.
Asmund was unusually normal.

When your kids are in trouble but you're secretly pleased because at least they were creative and unified in their mischief.

Twins: because watching your babies hold hands as they nurse in the middle of the night is sure to make your heart explode.

It appears that Raedan's goal today is to pee in as many unusual places as possible.

Asmund, "Mom, what's the rapture?"
Me, "A bizarre theological concept that popped up in the mid 1800s and had disastrous consequences for the church, crippling the Christian social justice movement for a hundred and fifty years."
I may struggle some expressing faith concepts to my kids, but at least I have that one down.

Dennis, "Microscopes look at things that are tiny, telescopes look at things that are far away."
Asmund, "Like other dimensions?"

Wystan, "Mom, now I'm putting in my invisible earplugs so I can listen to music."
-mimes putting in ear buds and begins bopping his head around.

During the MLB All-Star Game: Asmund, "Dad, I just thought of something. Why are all the baseball players men instead of women?"

Asmund, "Dad, tell us a bedtime story!"
Dennis, "Okay: We were all tired, so we went to bed and slept all night long."
A, "No, a PRETEND story!"
Dennis, "Okay: We were all tired, so we went to bed and slept all night long."

Asmund, (sigh) "Dad, why is life so wonderful?" 

Bedtime with Raedan:
"Mommy, I want duney, Daddy said yes!"
Tells me a story:
"There was a horse. He was big, big, big. He was red. He go to work and helps the doctor. He had a boat and float all over the world. He catch a mean, big whale and fall him down in the Itch Room. The mean whale say 'No! I NOT GO to the Itch Room' but he goes."

Wystan has a habit of singing what he's doing. This is what I just caught while he was building with Raedan: "It's yours and I made it just for yoooouu!" (Sudden change in tone) "...and it's full of dragons that will eaaat you!"

To say that Raedan is a handful is an understatement. He has injured most of the family, from black eyes and loving head butts, welts from sword fighting, to bite marks after not getting his way. He gravitates towards the dangerous and the loud, whether he's joyful or angry, he is the reason we zip tie our medicine chest, and he's only still when he's sleeping.
He's also the most tender hearted child:
"Mommy, I sorry I wreck your house."
"Mommy, I miss you. Will you say me when you miss me too?"
"Mommy, I love you. I love my brothers. I love Daddy."
"Mommy, you say me Sun Boy Rain Boy?" (A request for his song.)

As a former "strong willed child", I loathe the term. Right now I'm calling him my "little sun god/violent irrational monster".

Raedan hugging Eldric: "Look, Mom. I hug him nicey."

Just when I need him, Disappear Man returns. He's playing tricks at the library today.

You know how when you're waiting for a parking spot, the person leaving takes longer? The threenager hasn't realized that the same principle applies to screaming outside the bathroom door.
Threenagers have no emotional regulation; you'd better pray you have enough for both of you.
He's currently crying, on my lap, because:
-Wystan tried to cheer him up by giving him post-its
-He misses/loves me
-He wants to go with Grandma
-He wants noonie
-He wants taffy
-He doesn't want soup
-He wants chicken
-He wants to sit on my lap (yes, while on my lap, he is crying because he wants to sit on my lap)
  
Planning for the tea party, and Asmund finds a table runner he likes:
"This is a good one, Mom. It's right in between classy and, well, classic!"

"Na na na nana, I am still alive!"

Asmund's observation reading a story, "What kind of mother let's her child put a fish, fishing rod, mug, and boat in the bathtub?!" 

Wystan, "Asmund, did you know that I have an invisible spy watch? "
Asmund, "I didn't. First, because you didn't tell me, second, because it is invisible. "

"Don't suck on the cat's face. "
This may be the weirdest directive I've given Raedan regarding Boswell, though "Don't put the cat in the freezer" was pretty important.

Asmund put the solar panel that Wystan needs in another universe, but he won't tell him where.

Wystan is telling us rules for grown ups and Halloween. Here's a sample:
- Don't become friends with a zombie.
- Don't put bugs up your nose if you're allergic to bugs.
- Don't become a monster with changed DNA. Only change your DNA if it makes you stronger.

Raedan, to Kelsey, "This is a spaceship dragon. It is a baby dragon and I am a Mama dragon and protect it from ghosts. You are the Daddy dragon. I am the Mama and my mouth is BIGGER and BIGGER to protect the baby."

Asmund, "Mom, are we doing phoenix work today? "
"What??? What is phoenix work? "
"You know, ABCs and sounds. "
"Phonics, babe. Phonics. "

^That's irony right there.

My kids are tea snobs:
"Mom, would you please make us some tea? Irish breakfast?"

DeAnn: Watching the Original Pete's Dragon with the best nephews ever! "I'll be your Candle on the Water" comes on and Raedan says " what does my love for you will always burn mean?" Love these boys!

Wystan thinks the English department could save themselves the trouble of complicated scholarship processes by "just yelling 'if you come in here, we'll give you money!'"
This would probably work.

"What do you guys think of these? " (chocolate covered nut butter)
Asmund, "Wait. YOU made these?!? They were so good I thought someone else must have done it! "