Hoildays

Asmund, about watching PBS: "Do you know what we want to watch next?"
"What?"
"Well, whatever is next!"

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"Mom, can we have hot cocoa when we get home? And know why we call it hot cocoa? French people. I am not kidding!"

Current Names

Wystan calls Asmund "Am."
Asmund calls Wystan "Wyse."
Raedan says "Amum" for Asmund.

Dragons

Wystan: My dragon is a night fury. He's always waking me up.


Me to Asmund, as he is putting a sticker on each unused envelope: "Why don't you put two stickers on each one?"
A: "Because that's a waste of stickers!"

Aliens

Asmund: "Mom, there are just too many aliens. Wystan, I'm going to the bathroom, tell me if any aliens get here."

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Me, "We'll start decorating for Christmas soon."
Asmund, "At Christmas Aunt Joy is staying with us, for, um, two years?"
(Joy, you're the first thing they think of when they think of Christmas.)

Math

Me, looking at Asmund's addition sheet, "Hey! You figured that out!" A, "No, Mom. I THINK-ED that out."

Found: Preying Mantis

W: About the preying mantis he found: "His name is Rooftop because he hangs from the ceiling. He is my friend."

Wystan walked in with the latest tenet of the bug home crawling up his arm. "Hey Mom, know what my preying mantis eats for breakfast? Baby preying mantis-ses." "Hum, are you sure?" "Yes. Him is a bad mom."

Things from Colorado

A: I don't go to sleep at night because I'm a preying mantis.


W: Pet my [imaginary] spider. He's family!


Me: "Why not color slowly? You color so fast."
A: "You don't know what I do. Coloring fast is my detail."


A, writing a postcard: "How do you write, “B__, I miss you.""


A: "I found a new friend, and now this boy is borrowing him."

budleyou

"Mom, this is my great number game:" (begins hoping around the kitchen tiles and singing) "1 2 3 4 7 9 10, WM, 13 15, WM, XYZ and W M.... Pretty normal cute unless you know that Wystan pronounces "W" "budleyou". Ermahgawd the cuteness!!!!

Planes and Books

Me: What do you want Santa to bring you this year?
Wy: A paper airplane.
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Me: "Do you read books?"
A: "I actually study them."
YES!

What do YOU say?

The book, Moo, Baa, La La La, ends with the question "What do you say?" In typical fashion, Asmund says, "nothing-HAHAHA!", and Wystan says "eyeball".

Who is getting bigger?

W, "I am getting big."
A, "I am getting bigger."
W, "I am getting really, REALLY bigger!"

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Asmundisms of the day (9/10/2014):

"Mom, know what it's called when birds lose their feathers? Melting!"

"Mom, why you doing that (peeling squash) out here?"
"Because I like to be around you."
"Aww, thanks, Mom."

"That was a bad story. Dad makes better stories. Dad's stories are better than your best stories. This is my worstest night ever. When will Dad be home?" 

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Asmund, counting out groups of eight, "Mom!! THREE and FIVE equal EIGHT!!!!" Ahh, self discovered math.

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Wystan: "I want a babysitter to come here right _now_."
Carrie: "Are you tired of us?"
Wystan: "Yeah."

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"Asmund, do you want to write your name on your history class folder?"
"I am taking a history class?"
"Yes...history is the things that happened in the past."
"Oh, like Superheroes?"
"Um, no. Real things that happened."
"Like Autobots?"
"No, Autobots are pretend too."
"Ok, like dinosaurs?"
"Um...well dinosaurs ARE real, and they are history but I don't think that's the kind of history you're going to learn about in this class."

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In their morning dance off, Asmund accidentally punched Dennis in the crotch. With the victim blaming characteristic of a five year old, he exclaimed, "Dad! I told you, the fist is stronger than the penis!!"

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From Carrie: Legos and kombucha on our No More Baby Milk date. Wystan says, "Just you and me is good."   

 

Colorado Vacation 2014

2014 Vacation to Colorado

Going to Denver:

A, never seeing the mountains before: "I just saw a mountain!"
C: "Where?"
A: "We just passed it!"
It was a ten-foot tall pile of rocks.

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Me: "I didn't know if you would remember. I can't remember of when I was two years old."
A: I remember when you were two years old."

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A: "Is that a talking bus? It must be a transformer!"

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"My name is Wystan Daddy Etzel, but now I'm Lightsaber Guy. This is superhero orange juice."

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A: "Do you like green? Then you like Green Lantern! Do you like red? Then you like Spider-Man!"

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"Do you want a hot dog or fish?" W: "French fries."

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A: "We are learning new things, watching new movies, and saving people."

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A: "ROAR! I'm sorry. That is just my bear language."

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Asmund: "We're going into the mountains? And we're going to eat bears? Bears are really good. How about a bear bone with bear chicken on it?"


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A: "When I was a little kid I was practicing. Now that I am a human I can do anything I want like working."

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With Carrie:

Wystan, waving at every group of rafters who passed, "Hi! I am Iron Guy! This is our secret hide out. I am good! Oodbye!!

Asmund, "Mom, when Raedan is two, will you have another baby?
Me, "Um....do you want another baby in our family?"
Asmund, "YES! I only have two brothers and I need to have three!!"
Me, "Well, you know another baby could be a girl or a boy, right?"
Wystan, "A girl baby??!!!!!
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With Aunt Joy:

Asmund/Nephew: I want to come!
Aunt Joy: Well, I need some alone time...
Nephew: But you will need superhero protection!!!
Aunt Joy: ....

Seriously, how do you say no to that?

What do you speak?

A: I don't speak English or Spanish.
Me: What do you speak?
A: Just what I am saying.

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A: I could wait to go to the bathroom when I woke up. Maybe I am a kid human?

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A: "With my hearing I can pick up sounds from around the Earth, like the damage from bad guys or robbers stealing money. The bank is that way, or sometimes that way, and robbers are going to pass our house, but they don't know superheroes live here!"

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I am putting up a chain link fence and Asmund thinks the ropes I am planning with are booby traps. He said, "If someone sees our yard and thinks it is a nice place to take a nap, they will fall into the trap!"

"A good booby trap makes robbers fall down and want to take a nap on the grass."

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A: "Sometimes people are born with superpowers. That is what my daddy did."

Superheroes Among Us!

Asmund found a star-shaped leaf. He said, "Maybe Star Man sent it to Earth."

Wystan: "I'm a good Metal Guy. I fight bad guys with a metal sword to put them in jail. That's how."

Wystan: "I am Iron Guy. I am a superhero. I wear shoes."

Asmund, explaining his double-straw situation with his hot chocolate from PT's: "It was big like a human, but not big like a human. It was like a baby kangaroo."

Asmund to Raedan

I want to be in your sleeping zone.

Asmund with Mrs. Elwood

A: Mommy had a good idea for me, like taking compost out.

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A: Falcon and Captain America have a food fight.
Mrs. E: How about just, "Falcon has a food fight with me?"
A: Falcon and Captain America and Black Widow have a food fight.

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A: I can run on water. My middle name is Marshall, but I _am_ a superhero!

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Mrs. E: Are you a good sport when you lose?
A: I always win.
Mrs. E: No wonder you're a good sport!

Antidote

Asmund: I made an antidote for how I walk on water. I need to keep it in a safe place. I am a scientist.

I am just a boy

Asmund said, "I am just a boy, so I want to see new movies!"

Wystan: "Let's watch Frozen. It is funny. I like funny things. That is why I laugh."

Asmund said Raedan put rocks in his mouth because he thought it was candy, then went into the street shouting, " I'm a human! I'm a human!"

From Carrie: Basilisk, Iron Bat, Spider Baby and Magic Knitting Lady are fighting off Doom Bots in Oakland today. Asmund said, "Mom, I need to walk on water."  Not a God complex, he's a basilisk today.

Asmund: "Doctor Octopus gave me this computer before he put his arms on his back. His arms then took control over his brain, so he was out of control. I used the computer to stop the arms so he would be okay."

After Asmund had a drink of my water, I said, "Hey! Why drink my water when you have your own?" "I thought it was beer."

A sign

Asmund had me write a sign to hang on the outside of our house: World's Biggest Superhero Dancers.

Wystan is Water Guy

Me: "You are funny!"
Wystan: "I am not funny. I am Water Guy. Water Guy is not funny."
I wonder what happened to Running Guy.

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Carrie, "Asmund, I need to put salve on that cut."
Asmund, "But Moooom, Jesus heals EVERYBODY!"
"Yes, but he still wants me to put salve on your cut."

Half a year!

Let's just say I need to get caught up!

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Asmund, coming out of the kitchen with handfuls of jello, "Dad, Jesus opened the fridge for me."

February 3: Today Asmund started making "love cards" (valentines). He cut and glued and after considering some suggestions on what to write, decided on "not love" so that the recipients won't think he wants to marry them. "I only love ONE, Mom, and she is tiny."

Wystan, after being told no dessert, leans in for a hug,  "Mommy, I hate you. I love you hate you."

I'm telling Asmund his favorite bedtime story: Batman and the Beanstalk.

March 26: Raedan said his first word other than mama and dada today. With as much fun as he and Olivia had, how could he not tell her "bye bye", with a wave, no less!

Carrie: Wystan, I love you! Wystan: Huh. I really like daddy.

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Asmund: "I was up all night. I was fighting bad guys."

 Me: "I'm sorry you had a bad dream."

 A: "It wasn't a dream!"

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Yesterday, Asmund leaned in and asked, "Mom, when I grow up and have kids, you will be their Grandma?"

 "Yes, I will. Is that okay?"

 With a smile, "Oh yes. That is good."

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A: Moving his head around says, "I'm emptying my head so I can form new ideas."

Asmund: "I am all ready to hunt meat!"

A: You have an action figure and it's me!

Raedan, on the eve of his first birthday, just reached for the watermelon and said, "wamemen". Squeee!!

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Asmund just schooled me [Dennis] again while listening to Peter and the Wolf.

 A: "Do wolves really howl at the moon?"

 Me: "Yes, they do."

 A: "No, not really. That is a fairy tale. When you hear wolves howling, it is really children wolves looking for their parents."

 Me: "Wow! Where did you learn that?"

 A: "Cat in the Hat. Dad, you should really watch that show so you can learn things."

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Asmund is practicing his fs while picking up toys. Every time he puts a toy in the box he shouts, "FUH!!!" That's not *quite* what it sounds like.

Wystan, "This is doggie kiss, I and my tongue gonna lick you tongue!" Um, no thanks.

Asmund: "When people see me they think I'm six, but that is not true. I'm really five and a half."