Food Chain

Asmund, "Mom, lets make a picture of a food chain. We'll start with plants, then vegetarians, then meat eaters, then, at the top, the BIGGEST one--vultures!"
(Because vultures eat dead lions.)

"How are you almost five years old?!"
Wystan, "Birthdays."

Asmund, with missing front teeth: "My daddy teeth are coming in."
In bed, in the middle of the night:
"Aum

aum
aum."
Me: "Are you meditating?"
A: "Put you' aum under my head."

Science Day

A: "Mom, I picked out me and Wystan's clothes for science. Um, Mom, do I look like Bill Nye?"

June 2015 through September 2015

Parenting is spending an hour and a half, nightly, trying to convince a tiny human that sleep isn't going to kill them.

A: "Mom, can we get that Bill Nye space movie? And when we have friends we are "dating" we can watch it together."
"What do you mean, "dating"?
"You know, when we have a play date."

Whew

Who needs chiropractors when you have kids who think it's fun to grab onto you from behind and swing until your back pops against the chair?

A: "Mom, this morning I want you to teach me about time, magic, science, and inventing!" 
We're settling for time, facts about the moon and a youtube about inventors.

Raedan is super disappointed that the box of pads he found wasn't a box of cookies.

Asmund's message to a friend turning seven, "Where does love come from? From the inside of you. It is a kind of pain." 

Things we've said to Raedan in the last hour: 
"Please ask me before you start eating butter."
"Don't throw eggs at Wystan's head!"
"Please don't sit on Asmund's face."
"WHY ARE YOU PEEING ON ME?!?!!"

Asmund commented on two NPR stories today. First about a martian meteorite that crashed in India in 1865, and the second on Syrian refugees trying to escape to Europe. The first story brought about a conversation about dinosaurs and weather, the second prompted contemplation on what war means to civilian populations, how it would feel to have your house blown up, and the Chronicles of Narnia. I loved hearing him make connections.

Salt crystal experiment #1 was a flop. On to #2! Wystan is over the moon.

Disappear Man has a brother, but he's a bad guy, so Wystan crushed him and turned him into a plate. 
Also, the chickens have lasers on their heads.

Asmund, " Mom, do you have a really high fever like Timmy in that story where his mom gets help from rats?"
"No, Babe, I have a low fever. I'll probably feel better tomorrow."
"Good. I'm glad you won't die. Then we'd have a step mother like Cinderella. " (shudder)
Love you too, kid.

Overheard in the Etzel house this evening:

W: "Mom, I want to eat all the snot in your nose."

Dennis: "DON'T KISS YOUR BROTHER'S BUTT!"

W: "I need one hundred water plus ten. I have hiccups."

At bedtime, Asmund nonchalantly informed me that when his eyes pop out, he is going to replace them with robotic eyes that can zoom in so that he has super vision. 
Um, baby, please don't pop out your eyes.

Wystan is going to make a time machine when he's grown up and a scientist, so that he can see Dodos. 
Asmund is going to make a movie machine, so that you can turn on PBS or Netflix, pause when the character you wish was real is on screen, and use the machine to open a portal to bring the character to life.

Asmund: "Wystan, there's an owl in this story! And it's really smart like you!"

Carrie, in the kitchen: "There is no counter space!"
Raedan (2 yrs old): "Daddy did it!"

Wystan: "I don't need to hold your hand in the parking lot, Mom. I know how to hold Disappear Man's hand."

When you have a four year old, sweet songs like, "Thomasina,come along with me now" become "Penisina, I have a 'uprise for you."

Wystan says to me, "Mom, Asmund is my best brother, and I love him even when I'm mad." Whew.

We relaxed the no phones at dinner rule for Crusher Ninja (Wystan) to call Disappear Man to let him know that we're having lasagna for dinner. Disappear Man doesn't like lasagna, and this led to a tiff. Crusher Ninja loves lasagna, but he also eats metal, drinks ice water, and has a parachute.

The seasons according to Asmund:
Winter
Christmas 
Summer 
Super Summer 
Autumn

HOW do kids have this much energy!?! Dennis let me sleep in, but within five minutes of waking up to everyone in the bed with me, here's just a sample of what I learned:
Raedan: "DUNE!"
Wystan: "See my mask? I'm a spider or a woodpecker but I like it to be a spider mask better because woodpeckers eat brown beetles in trees and I like them. ACK! WHERE'S MY ANTENNA?"
Asmund: "Mom, this is my super computer. Can you get me a ghost costume? I want to scare people. I'll also need an invisible bungee cord. Or we could just get a visable bungee cord and I will dress like a gentleman and look like I'm coming down from the ceiling. Mom, know what we're learning today? We are learning about Indians! Remember, we're HOMESCHOOLED, so our PARENTS teach us things?"
Where's my coffee?

Asmund: "Mom, look at that bird violation!" 
--Formation. I think.

"Mom, I think you're growing a beard." ranks right up there with "Mom, I think you're going to have another baby soon."