Winners

 Eldric: I'm going to win!

Wystan: In my opinion I'm going to win.

E: In my opinion I'm winning!

Raedan: Do you even know what opinion means?

E: It means I'm winning!

[

Asmund at lunch: Mom, I want to make an everything cape! It's going to be waterproof, and fireproof, and lightningproof.

Mom: That's a strange thing for a cake.

A: No, mom, cape!

Mom: That explains better than a cake.

Later that day in the car.

A: You know mom, I want to make an everything cake.

Mom: Let me hear you pronounce cape.

A: No, no, cake! With strawberry and chocolate and . . . 

Mom laughs.

Chicken

 Eldric about the cooked chicken: The chicken looks dead. Do you know why it looks dead? Because the chicken looks brown.

Economy

Asmund: If you leave us alone we'll start our own economy.

Asmund: Can I drink coffee upstairs in my bedroom while I make weapons? 

Eldric: It's so boring to have not candy!

When Asmund blows on dandelion seeds, he says he wishes for more dandelions. He says he wishes that wish because it will probably come true.

Eldric, "I am eating this aminal."

Aldwyn, "No, amiwol. Aniwol."

The "animal" in question was a beet.

 

Raedan advice: Stop being like a dog owner and be a dog.

 

Asmund spent the morning writing a "War Oath" play contract, in order to facilitate "mindful chaos."

 

Asmund: Every culture has soup. You can't live in a culture without eating soup.

 

Raedan: Dad, can we have an eating contest?

 

Aldwyn's suggestion for this Halloween: We paint our house black, we dress up in our costumes, and we scare people.

 

Eldric: Want to hear a joke? Knock-a-knock, who's there? Banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, slip on the floor!

 

What Eldric is talking about at bedtime tonight:

A flower mouse, my snoring, how he's a lightning boy, and he can't hear my snoring in the other room because of magic tears, his stuffed animal octopussy, tentacles, suckers, sticking to things, octopus mouths, bananas slipping down the stairs, meteor caves, gecko shrinking, motorcycles, and jokes in between.

 

Eldric: Did you know I'm a thunder boy? I actually love to be shocked!

 

Asmund: Why are we talking about how Jesus died for our sins when he didn't do a very good job?

 

Aldwyn to Ruth: We have too much children in our house.

 

Aldwyn: I saw a ghost dog, for real!

Eldric: When did you see it?

Aldwyn: Five years ago.

(Of course, they just turned five.)

 

"Sneaky bouncy ball!" What Aldwyn said when he threw the ball down, it hit the ceiling then came back down and hit his head.

 

Rae: never break a pinky promise or you'll have bad luck from my fist

 

Asmund and Wystan's take aways from our constitution unit:

Wystan is glad we have free speech.

Asmund thinks Congress has too much power, and favors an anarchist utopian society of hunters and small scale agriculture.  

 

Raedan: You said we could go to Dollar Tree so we could buy sparkling lemonade. When I asked you, you said something and it was a word related to yes. It was yes, but it was not the word yes. So let's go!

 

Hello from the Etzel house, where Aldwyn is standing in his chair, waving a gnawed chicken thigh, yelling "I love bones GIVE ME BONES," while Asmund is describing broth to him as the superior method of ingestion, and calling it "bone water. "

 

  

 

 

 

   

 

Cheers

Carrie starts frying an egg

Aldwyn who declined an egg 5 mins ago: I want an egg... I want that egg... the egg you were about to eat.

[

Parenting is explaining to your five year old (Aldwyn), at 7 am, just why he shouldn't hide tomatoes under the bed. 

[

Raedan: You said we could go to Dollar Tree so we could buy sparkling lemonade. When I asked you, you said something and it was a word related to yes. It was yes, but it was not the word yes. So let's go!

[

Raedan, playing Super Mario Cart: Cheer for me. Cheer for all my body parts!

[

F

Eldric came home in this sweet dress:

"Dad, you know why I am wearing dis dress? It is for dancing when you marry. I am marry Thandie, dat is why I wear dis dress!"

 [

Funnies

 Asmund: Aldwyn, do you want to know something? 

Aldwyn: What?

Asmund: You're funny.

Aldwyn: No I'm not! I don't have a funny bone in my skin.

/

Me: Has anyone seen the eggs?

Asmund: Have you tried the egg carton?

/

Eldric to Aldwyn: do you remember when I scared you last night? It was so 'atastic (fantastic) for me!

/

Body

 Aldwyn:  I want to kill my body.

Eldric: I do not want to kill my body.

Aldwyn: Well then, I don't to listen to my body. 

Asmund: but what if but what if you need to go to the bathroom? Or you're hungry?

Eldric: I am ever hungry, but I am not hungry now.

Asmund: Well, if you don't have a body then what's the point of having dessert know you'll have no cake or ice cream or my delicious brownies

Eldric: ahh!

Aldwyn: okay, I won't kill my body. Wait, did my body say that?

Eldric: Yes!

Aldwyn: Dumb body! 

Notes from bedtime tonight

Eldric: I really really can't sleep. I only go to sleep on Christmas.

Eldric: I ate crackers but crackers don't last forever. That's why I only want to eat soft stuff. Ice cream is soft. Cake is soft too!

Eldric: Do you know what I see when I close my eyes?

Me: What do you see?

Eldric: I see nothing!

Raedan: When you were four you _weren't_ related to me.

Asmund: How old is dad? 50/50?

Nightmares

 Eldric,  "Mommy, I have nightmares that you and Aldwyn are running from a monster."  "Oh no, that sounds scary! Do you want to cuddle up with Aldwyn? Would that help you feel safe?"  "Yes! Maybe that will 'ahvince my body to have good dreams!" -Aldwyn and Eldric fall asleep in each other's arms.

Aldwyn: I'm allergic to gluten free!

Eldric: Do you know what I am getting for Christmas? It's a secret!

Lollipops

 Asmund, "Mom, can't we watch Keeping Up Appearances?"

"No, I'm enjoying listening to your brothers play." 

"I'm not. They're loud and noisy. All I want to hear are British accents and canned laughter. "

/

Eldric: Can I get getting married lollipops and give them to people like T?

Me: What are getting married lollipops?

Eldric: They are lollipops with red hearts and the sticks have to be yellow on them.

Me: Why do the sticks have to be yellow?

Eldric: Because it is a marry lollipop! It has sweet things in it, like sugar!

/

Eldric: "I'm rich! I have twenty-two dollars!" Holds up card with pictures of money, to help learn about counting.

/

2021 so far

 

Asmund was heckling Wystan as he tried to listen to his math instruction. Wystan pointed the remote at Asmund, "If only you had a mute button."

When I asked Aldwyn what came next in his story, he said, "let me see what my clock body says" then put a pencil on his belly, and turned it like clock hands.

 

Eldric: "I'm rich! I have twenty-two dollars!" while holding up a card with pictures of money meant to be a way to learn counting.

 

Eldric: When I am big I can name myself something else. Like Dennis Etzel Jr.

 

Eldric: Are you old? When you are old you have the creaks.

 

January 20, 2021

Another mild day, another hike. Asmund told me about expatriation of native animals. Wystan found interesting lichen. Raedan found four chairs off the trail, and declared that they were witches in disguise and shouldn't be touched. Aldwyn and Eldric ran the entire trail.